"Before the beginning, after the great war between Rap and Rock, God created the Earth and gave dominion over it to the crafty ape he called man."
September, 1993.
In Washington, Israeli Prime Minister Yitzhak Rabin shakes hands with PLO leader Yasser Arafat, renewing hopes for peace in our time.
In Norway, Varg Vikernes (aka "Count Grishnackh") is arrested for the murder of bandmate Øystein Aarseth (aka "Euronymous"). A police raid on Vikernes' home revealed 150 kg of explosives and 3,000 rounds of ammunition.
And in comic book shops across the country, a mysterious new card game called Magic: The Gathering was bewitching young people with its hideous, Satanic power.
But even these momentous events paled in comparison to the release of one of the most pivotal artifacts of the 1990s: the Judgement Night soundtrack.
Director Stephen Hopkins, fresh off the dystopian urban nightmare of Predator 2, was tapped to helm Judgement Night, a thriller about a group of hetero lifemates being hunted by a gang of drug dealers. It's a classic story of average bros caught in the wrong place at the wrong time—kind of like North By Northwest, if Cary Grant was replaced by Jeremy Piven, playing an RV test driver named "Razor".
It's a solidly workmanlike picture, but one that failed to connect at a box office still dominated by Jurassic Park and The Fugitive. But the soundtrack was another story, thanks to a dazzlingly audacious premise: put rockers and rappers in the same room together, roll the tape, and see what happens.
So how does Judgement Night sound, nearly ten years later? Let's find out. (Spotify playlist is at the end.)
Teenage Fanclub are really the odd band out here, much like they are in real life, where I'm pretty sure they're only remembered by indie rock diehards (or tryhards). Sandwiched in between bands like Slayer and Biohazard, they seem unusually out of place here. I'm also not really sure what they contributed to this song, because it definitely sounds like De La Soul could've produced this track without any assistance.
3. Living Colour & Run DMC - "Me, Myself & My Microphone"
Now this is more like it. Run DMC are obviously old hands at this kind of bleeding-edge stylistic fusion, and Living Colour's crunchy guitars and tasteful funkiness are a natural fit. It's a solid jam, but also one that's characteristic of the two bands in question, rather than pointing towards the brave new world of nu-metal. But just keep listening for portents of the nu to come.
4. Biohazard & Onyx - "Judgement Night"
Formerly sketchy New York hardcore band Biohazard had already added urban accents to their rugged pit riffment by the time Judgement Night dropped, having demonstrated their style with Urban Discipline a year earlier. But that record (which is excellent) mostly just sounds like punishing NYHC, closer to Age of Quarrel than the hordes of DJ-equipped nu-metallos that would follow.
But this song is pure rap metal avant la lettre. Onyx's style of strenuously belligerent hip-hop is a perfect match for Biohazard's no-bullshit mosh. It's appropriate that this is the title song, because when you think of the Judgement Night soundtrack, this is probably exactly what you imagine.
5. Slayer & Ice-T - "Disorder"
Apparently feeling that this soundtrack wasn't high-concept enough already, Slayer and Ice-T decided to team up for a suite of Exploited covers. It goes without saying that it's fucking awesome, and it's really kind of inspired because the Exploited—being one of the most gloriously ignorant bands ever—translate well into the idiom of ignorant mosh. "UK 82" becomes "LA 92"—love it. Slayer should've had Ice-T back when they did their punk covers album.
6. Faith No More & Boo-Yaa T.R.I.B.E. - "Another Body Murdered"
I had no clue who Boo-Yaa T.R.I.B.E. were, beyond having one of the most annoying to type and quintessentially '90s band names ever. After Googling them, I discovered they're a group of four Samoan brothers who at one point released an album called Angry Samoans, earning them immediate blanket amnesty from me for any typographical misdeeds. And they sound pretty legit here.
Mike Patton's epic crooning on the chorus is definitely the weakest link, but he also does his full-on, sputtering cartoon character thing at a couple points in the song and it actually works perfectly, sounding like just another layer of Bomb Squad-style noise. Pretty sick stuff.
7. Sonic Youth & Cypress Hill - "I Love You Mary Jane"
This really feels like Cypress Hill produced a more or less complete track, and left a bemused Sonic Youth to add a handful of Artforum feedback squiggles over the top of it. It works fine as a Cypress Hill song, but as a collabo it wipes out like one of the skaters in this Unsane video (to be spotlighted in a future N4N post).
8. Mudhoney & Sir Mix-A-Lot - "Freak Momma"
Everything about this suggests that it's going to be awesome...and it pretty much is. It's exactly what you would expect. I like to imagine that there's an alternate universe where Mark Arm became the Puff Daddy to Mix's Biggie Smalls, standing in the background of all his ass-heavy videos muttering "uh huh, yeah".
9. Dinosaur Jr. & Del Tha Funkee Homosapien - "Missing Link"
So these guys have aged better than just about everyone else on the disc, but I was still actually a little surprised by just how well this one works. They really meet each other halfway: you get a dose of Del's brainy pop verbiage ("now when I phase in / like Kitty Pride / city-wide"), and a wailing J. Mascis solo to boot. It's a lot less dated than most of the material here, and plenty listenable, but it still raises the burning question of whether either party is notably enhanced by the pairing.
10. Therapy? & Fatal - "Come and Die"
Talk about a deep album cut. A team-up of two acts largely consigned to the dustbin of history (he says as Therapy fans everywhere gnash their teeth), this number is appropriately buried in the order, taking the plate right before cleanup hitters Pearl Jam.
I don't really know what to say about this; there's a lot going on and the end product is pretty annoying. I remember once reading someone describe GISM as "like listening to Venom with the TV on"; I always thought that was pretty inaccurate re: GISM but also a hilarious way of describing a band. This song reminds me of that.
11. Pearl Jam & Cypress Hill - "Real Thing"
A much more successful collabo than Sonic Youth's attempt, although PJ still sound fairly awkward and the "rock" breakdown toward the end is really gross. Again, Cypress Hill aren't really enhanced by the pairing, and Pearl Jam are definitely devalued by their choices here.
So there you have it. Judgement Night is still a pretty enjoyable listen overall in 2013, and more of the tracks connect than you'd probably expect.
Although now I can't help wondering what other earth-shaking collaborations might have taken place. Gehenna and 2 Live Crew? Integrity and Notorious B.I.G.? Burzum and 2pac? The world will never know.
In Washington, Israeli Prime Minister Yitzhak Rabin shakes hands with PLO leader Yasser Arafat, renewing hopes for peace in our time.
In Norway, Varg Vikernes (aka "Count Grishnackh") is arrested for the murder of bandmate Øystein Aarseth (aka "Euronymous"). A police raid on Vikernes' home revealed 150 kg of explosives and 3,000 rounds of ammunition.
And in comic book shops across the country, a mysterious new card game called Magic: The Gathering was bewitching young people with its hideous, Satanic power.
But even these momentous events paled in comparison to the release of one of the most pivotal artifacts of the 1990s: the Judgement Night soundtrack.
Appropriately, Google retrieved this image from "soulhonky.com".
It's a solidly workmanlike picture, but one that failed to connect at a box office still dominated by Jurassic Park and The Fugitive. But the soundtrack was another story, thanks to a dazzlingly audacious premise: put rockers and rappers in the same room together, roll the tape, and see what happens.
So how does Judgement Night sound, nearly ten years later? Let's find out. (Spotify playlist is at the end.)
 |
| Artwork courtesy of Sam McPheeters, god among men. |
1. Helmet and House of Pain - "Just Another Victim"
This is basically a Helmet song until the chorus, which features a time-stretched sample of what sounds like a mewling kitten while House of Pain mutters the title. The song's rugged, streets-is-watching vibe is kind of undermined here.
Then about halfway through, HoP regrettably takes the lead while Helmet's trademark chunky guitars recede into the background. The kitten sample recurs, but now it sounds like the kitten has wandered down the street, perhaps put off by HoP's awkward flow.
2. Teenage Fanclub & De La Soul - "Fallin'"
Teenage Fanclub are really the odd band out here, much like they are in real life, where I'm pretty sure they're only remembered by indie rock diehards (or tryhards). Sandwiched in between bands like Slayer and Biohazard, they seem unusually out of place here. I'm also not really sure what they contributed to this song, because it definitely sounds like De La Soul could've produced this track without any assistance.
3. Living Colour & Run DMC - "Me, Myself & My Microphone"
Now this is more like it. Run DMC are obviously old hands at this kind of bleeding-edge stylistic fusion, and Living Colour's crunchy guitars and tasteful funkiness are a natural fit. It's a solid jam, but also one that's characteristic of the two bands in question, rather than pointing towards the brave new world of nu-metal. But just keep listening for portents of the nu to come.
"So this is what it's like when worlds collide."
4. Biohazard & Onyx - "Judgement Night"
Formerly sketchy New York hardcore band Biohazard had already added urban accents to their rugged pit riffment by the time Judgement Night dropped, having demonstrated their style with Urban Discipline a year earlier. But that record (which is excellent) mostly just sounds like punishing NYHC, closer to Age of Quarrel than the hordes of DJ-equipped nu-metallos that would follow.
But this song is pure rap metal avant la lettre. Onyx's style of strenuously belligerent hip-hop is a perfect match for Biohazard's no-bullshit mosh. It's appropriate that this is the title song, because when you think of the Judgement Night soundtrack, this is probably exactly what you imagine.
5. Slayer & Ice-T - "Disorder"
Apparently feeling that this soundtrack wasn't high-concept enough already, Slayer and Ice-T decided to team up for a suite of Exploited covers. It goes without saying that it's fucking awesome, and it's really kind of inspired because the Exploited—being one of the most gloriously ignorant bands ever—translate well into the idiom of ignorant mosh. "UK 82" becomes "LA 92"—love it. Slayer should've had Ice-T back when they did their punk covers album.
6. Faith No More & Boo-Yaa T.R.I.B.E. - "Another Body Murdered"
I had no clue who Boo-Yaa T.R.I.B.E. were, beyond having one of the most annoying to type and quintessentially '90s band names ever. After Googling them, I discovered they're a group of four Samoan brothers who at one point released an album called Angry Samoans, earning them immediate blanket amnesty from me for any typographical misdeeds. And they sound pretty legit here.
Mike Patton's epic crooning on the chorus is definitely the weakest link, but he also does his full-on, sputtering cartoon character thing at a couple points in the song and it actually works perfectly, sounding like just another layer of Bomb Squad-style noise. Pretty sick stuff.
7. Sonic Youth & Cypress Hill - "I Love You Mary Jane"
This really feels like Cypress Hill produced a more or less complete track, and left a bemused Sonic Youth to add a handful of Artforum feedback squiggles over the top of it. It works fine as a Cypress Hill song, but as a collabo it wipes out like one of the skaters in this Unsane video (to be spotlighted in a future N4N post).
Now that I think of it, why isn't Unsane on here, doing a track with Mobb Deep?
8. Mudhoney & Sir Mix-A-Lot - "Freak Momma"
Everything about this suggests that it's going to be awesome...and it pretty much is. It's exactly what you would expect. I like to imagine that there's an alternate universe where Mark Arm became the Puff Daddy to Mix's Biggie Smalls, standing in the background of all his ass-heavy videos muttering "uh huh, yeah".
A match made in heaven, or possibly a men's room.
9. Dinosaur Jr. & Del Tha Funkee Homosapien - "Missing Link"
So these guys have aged better than just about everyone else on the disc, but I was still actually a little surprised by just how well this one works. They really meet each other halfway: you get a dose of Del's brainy pop verbiage ("now when I phase in / like Kitty Pride / city-wide"), and a wailing J. Mascis solo to boot. It's a lot less dated than most of the material here, and plenty listenable, but it still raises the burning question of whether either party is notably enhanced by the pairing.
10. Therapy? & Fatal - "Come and Die"
Talk about a deep album cut. A team-up of two acts largely consigned to the dustbin of history (he says as Therapy fans everywhere gnash their teeth), this number is appropriately buried in the order, taking the plate right before cleanup hitters Pearl Jam.
I don't really know what to say about this; there's a lot going on and the end product is pretty annoying. I remember once reading someone describe GISM as "like listening to Venom with the TV on"; I always thought that was pretty inaccurate re: GISM but also a hilarious way of describing a band. This song reminds me of that.
11. Pearl Jam & Cypress Hill - "Real Thing"
A much more successful collabo than Sonic Youth's attempt, although PJ still sound fairly awkward and the "rock" breakdown toward the end is really gross. Again, Cypress Hill aren't really enhanced by the pairing, and Pearl Jam are definitely devalued by their choices here.
So there you have it. Judgement Night is still a pretty enjoyable listen overall in 2013, and more of the tracks connect than you'd probably expect.
Although now I can't help wondering what other earth-shaking collaborations might have taken place. Gehenna and 2 Live Crew? Integrity and Notorious B.I.G.? Burzum and 2pac? The world will never know.
Pictured: 2 of Amerikaz Most Wanted.
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